What Love Can Do

People can be so...cruel sometimes. There's this girl in my grade. For sake of being on the internet and such, we'll say her name is.....Katie. Well, Katie is extremely possessive over a guy whom we're both very good friends with. Well, he's closer to me now more than her, but we'll get to that later.

You see, also for sake of being on the internet and such, we will call the guy......Zerk(don't ask..). Well, this past summer, I had a huge crush on Zerk. I really did. And it actually came to the point where I was forced to tell him. He can be very persistent. Well, I told him and we talked about it and he said he didn't like me in that way, so it was dropped and I was to move on. Well, thought I had. I really did, but you see, I lied to myself.

I told myself that I had moved on, when in fact I started to like another guy and used him to get over Zerk. I really don't care about saying his name on here, so I'll just say it. His name is Ben. I feel terrible about how I handled that, but we broke up a couple weeks ago and we're still friends.

Of course, I only realized that that was the reason why I really dated him, oh, about half an hour ago. And sorry if some of this doesn't make any sense. It is two-thirty in the morning and I am sleep-deprived and worried-sick about this ordeal. So anyways, Katie is majorly possessive over Zerk.

Well, one of my best friends, Kristin(not real name), overheard Katie talking to Zerk early this summer. It turns out that Zerk liked me. He actually liked me for more than just a friend. If I would have known this, man, everything may have been different, but he was also very close to her at the time and told her about his feelings for me.

Because of her 'issue' she instructed him to just get over me and not tell me any of this. Oh, and did I fail to mention that she had a very strong influence over him? No? Well, I have now. She did, but now that influence-bond is broken, for good. I just found out a little bit ago that she told him not to like me anymore.

I realized that I still had feelings for him a week and a half ago, maybe? Well, I confessed to my friend, and that's when she confessed to me. I was almost heart-broken. Katie and I have been friends before. We got into a strong argument many-a-time since the first one, so I stopped trying.

Kristin didn't see her the way I did. She hadn't stepped back and taken a good look at who Katie truly is. Neither had Zerk. Last Thanksgiving, Kristin started to date a guy whom Katie liked a year earlier, but gave approval to them to date. You see, Kristin had liked this guy for years. They are also going strong today. They've been dating for over a year now. But, last winter, Katie really started to show her other side to Kristin.

Kristin started to see who she really was. Why I saw her the way I did. The only reason why I made an effort to be friends with Katie after our falling-out was for Kristin's sake. I didn't want her stuck in the middle, so I made an effort to try.

Well, they had a huge falling-out as well, and slowly drifted away from each other. Now, Kristen wants nothing to do with Katie. After they stopped being friends, the only reason I tried was then for Zerk's sake. I met Zerk through Katie and Kristen and Matt(Kristin's boyfriend, also not real name).

You see, Matt and Zerk are both three years older than Kristen, Katie, and I. Matt goes to college here right outside of town. And Zerk has always lived in a town about two and a half hours away. We only see him on special occasions where he comes to town, but I talk to him via text and instant messanger all the time.

Well, since I was becoming friends with Zerk, I didn't want him to be stuck in the middle, so I tried to stay friends with Katie as best as I could.

But then she did something low, even for her. She told him to be mean to me, so that I would stop talking to him. And he obeyed like the cute little puppy he was, always following her every command. It was kind of cute for awhile, and then it got tiringly old.

You could never say anything bad about Katie to Zerk without him blowing up until this summer. That's when everything changed. He had fallen head over heals in love with her and she made him think she felt the same way.

Then, she started to argue with him. That lasted two weeks straight. She argued for no reason at all. She was, is, that screwed up. Then he started to drift away ever so slowly and try to move on. But, you see, even though she didn't want him, no one else could have him.

If another girl was a potential threat, they were cut out of the equation, or at least tried to be cut out. Kristen and I were the ones who slipped through the cracks. And just barely. Kristen faired much better than I had.

Kristen already had a boyfriend, so therefore was no threat. But I was single and looking for someone. So, then I was a threat to her 'man'. She instructed him to be mean to me. I just ignored it and kept on talking to him. I didn't care. I thought he was joking.

And then, he would start coming to me in tears because she had broken his heart. I almost hated her. I don't hate anyone, so I decided that loathing was my next best option. So, I loathed her until I could not loathe anymore. And then I loathed some more.

In my mind, how could anyone possibly treat someone like this? How could she just dump him on the side of the street and practically say, I'm done with you, you piece of trash. But, let's still hang out and see how much more pain I can conflict.

I didn't buy it. I tried to tell him to watch his back, to tell him that she was going to hurt him, but he didn't believe me because, she had hurt him so much, why would she ever hurt him anymore? But that's where he went wrong. She doesn't care whether or not he gets hurt. All she cares about is maintaining her 'property'.

So then he finally realized what was happening and started to move on. I told him i liked him one day and we decided not to act upon it. I had no idea that he had liked me before.

I had done so good not to like him again after I had 'gotten over him', but then a couple weeks ago, it all came crashing down on me.

I realized that I like him so much. It's not love, but it could be, if we gave it the chance. He is the perfect boyfriend type. And we are so much alike, him and I. And we know each other practically inside and out. He tells me everything, and I tell him as much as I can. They only things I leave out are the details about me liking him.

He is a nineteen-year-old. Why would he ever be interested in a sixteen-year-old when one had already screwed him over big time? That's the golden question I keep asking myself. Why would he?

Why should I even like him if he's never going to feel the same way back? There's no point in the matter!

Anyways, tonight, or rather this morning, I told him about what Katie said, how Kristen heard her say it. He didn't deny it. He said, if you think Katie said it, chances are you're right. And I was. He told me I was right. She had told him that.

And that's what got me upset. She may have ruined our chance of Zerk and I ever getting together, just because of a bit of jealousy and possessiveness.

I admit, I did cry, but Zerk helped me through it. So, once he got off instant messanger, I decided to stay up even later and write it all down and post it.

No body will probably read this, but I had to get it out there. I really did. And now it is three in the morning and I can barely keep my eyes open. So, I'm going to end this here and say adios for now.

I will update again when something changes in this situation. And yes, this is real. This is my life in a love triangle. And here's my perspective: IT SUCKS!! Believe me, it does. It sucks royally, But all that matters now is that I have amazing friends who will take care of me if I stumble over this speed bump.

Post a comment please. And thanks for sticking through the whole story. Sorry about length! It was a long story that had to be said. Thank you for reading! Good ni--er....morning? Oh, whatever, I don't care. Screw it. See-ya!

~Hopelessly Lost